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October 2011

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Fanfiction writing seeping into my assignments

I had to write an essay an personal experience and well this is how it turned out. ^__^;

My teacher would not shut up on how poetic is sounded and how he love the lines i typed.

I figured that I should post it here since it's likable in the real world.



It's hard to know what really excites me nowadays.

There are times that a simple flower would keep me happy for days. Other times it would be a parade going down a street on a holiday that keeps me going for only a few minutes. It's hard to say what actually make me feel something about anything. I was raised in a good wholesome family. Back then it was just me, my mother and my father. It was simple back then. Then again;everything was simple when you're a child.

As a child, I would smile at almost everything; birds, cats,dogs, even other people who would be so kind enough to smile back.  I would watch cartoons on early Saturday mornings and laugh so loudly that I'd wake my parents up. I would go outside and just breathe in the fresh air. And I would lay with my friends who lived right below in an apartment complex where I used to be.

However, even back then I didn't really know really excites me.

When you see a favorite hero or a cartoon character, you'd be yelling in anticipation or jump up and down with excitement.

Me...I would just giggle or give out a shout before going back into indifference.     

Of course it's not to say that I don't have interests or hobbies to speak of. I do actually. In fact, those hobbies have kept me content for several years.

It's just that in an emotional level, I don't understand if things actually made me feel great inside or that I'm pretending that they are.

However, there are moments that I can feel genuinely good inside without having certain emptiness that comes along with it. 

One moment was last summer. It was family/family-friend vacation kind of thing. My family was invited to go to a beach that was south of the east coastline. At first I felt a tinge of anticipation that unfortunately wasn't followed by any other emotion. The eight hour car ride though did wonders to my lower spine. As soon as we got there, i wanted nothing more then to just go to a bed or a couch and lay there forever. However by the time we got there, I was dragged to the beach which wasn't far from where we were staying.

I could feel the wind blowing through my hair, the scent of sea-salt penetrating my nostrils and the cool touch of the ocean touching my feet. It would make any other person just smile in a giddy fashion at the scenery.

Though, it just got a small smile out of me. I was grateful for being somewhere that was kind of out of my element but apart from being with my parents, along with my younger sister and family friends who were more interested in personal affairs then to spend time together; I'd be more content.

I love them, I really do. But there are times that I wish I was born out of a robot. At least a robot wouldn't annoy you on a personal level until the end of time.

Back to the point....

It was a few days into the trip that the moment occurred. I, along with my sister, my parents and a couple of our family friends were walking from the pier that was not too far from us. We  decided to go there one afternoon because of the fact that we were bored with nothing else to do. Plus the fact that we were staying in a somewhat isolated area that the restaurant was a good twenty minutes away.

Thank the stars there was at least an arcade and a small ice cream parlor to keep us occupied for a good hour or two.

We were at the pier at the time, looking at people trying to fish and look at sharks below. I looked beyond the horizon and admired the sun that was touching the ocean line. It wasn't the first time going to the pier but no matter how many times we have gone there, the feelings are always different.

Then night came. We got out of the ice cream parlor with ice cream in our hands. We felt like eating something sweet at the time. As we were walking across the shoreline, my father noticed something different about the sky. Soon we were all looking at the sky. What I saw before me was really a sight.

In the sky, the moon was being draped over by a thick black blanket that were clouds in reality. The ocean got darker without its light and a roar of thunder was heard not too far away from us. The sight before me made me feel a bit excited inside but i had no smile on my face to express it.

By the time we were outside of the place we were staying at, the moon was no longer in sight. Over the horizon...there was nothing but pure black with no sign of light anywhere. I heard the roar of thunder getting louder and louder. I stayed outside for a while longer to see it. My mother and Father stayed with me as they were just as amazed as I was.....only they would say it.

We watched as the heavy beating of the thunder hit our eardrums. There was no lighting or anything at the eye of that storm. Only black. Deep, deadly black. I sat on the sand with an happy giddy feeling in my chest. I felt the urge to smile but I held it down. I wondered how can something like a deadly storm that was out of my reach would made me want to smile so badly.

Maybe it was the spur of the moment. That I was bored and wanted to see something different in this otherwise dull and consistent beach.

Or maybe...

I felt a touch on my shoulder and looked up to see my father. It was time to get inside. I looked at the storm and saw a rain coming out of the dark cloud. I stood up and followed my father; with the image of that storm still in my mind.

So to sum it all up, it's hard to know what really excites me nowadays.

However, it was easy to see what can at least put a smile on my face.